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I fell in love this year, I am just unsure if it was with a person, a devil, or an idea.


The past year has been a period of major growth in my life, not because I have succeeded at everything I have attempted, but because I have failed in major ways. It has taken me some time to realise that substantial growth can also come from failing, from overcoming a hardship or major obstacle in your life. My major obstacle in this case was a boy, a devilish and beautiful boy. No expectations. Don’t become attached. Don’t fall in love. Have you ever tried avoiding those three fundamental points when standing face-to-face with what could potentially be a soul destroying scenario? The red flags are there, the darkness overwhelming, the devil laughing behind you. Yet you push forward anyways.

I fell in love this year, I am just unsure if it was with a person, a devil, or an idea. I have reflected over the last few months in great detail, spending countless hours dwelling in my memories, trying to figure out what I fell in love with. It was an idea, it was euphoria, and it was an infatuation with a lifestyle. However, my self-destructive obsession all started a year ago, whilst entertaining my social media habits and scrolling through hours’ worth of badly lit selfies and plates of food, I found a profile. “Ah! A beautiful boy with an interesting Instagram account, he must be overseas” was my initial thought, until I came across a location tag on one of his pictures. Ah Melville, my fingers scrambled to the ‘follow’ button and of course in a predictable manner I liked just about every photo I could drool over.

A few days had passed by…

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