Elon finally chased the gays away. After more than one year of empty threats and false starts, the BlueSky migration seems to be underway.
Members of Gay Twitter™ are flocking to the copycat app, fed up with Elon Musk and his incessant Trump worship. The richest man in the world spent nearly $120 million to help the criminally convicted ex-president retake the White House, and largely ran his ground operation in the swing states. Workers say they were tricked and threatened, stuffed in the back of seatless U-Haul vans and pressured to meet seemingly unattainable canvassing quotas.
But whatever malfeasance occurred, it did not matter. Trump won, and now Elon is a ubiquitous presence at Mar-a-Lago. The rumored ketamine addict is even taking part in Trump family photos!
In return for his loyalty, Trump has named Elon the co-chair of a new, fake government department focused on efficiency. The idea makes about as much sense as staying on Twitter!
It may seem ironic that we are embedding posts from Twitter in an article about its demise. But the fact is, BlueSky is still a work in progress. Though it’s now the No. 1 app in Apple’s App Store, engagement wasn’t built overnight. Many thirst trap-happy millennials have been building their followers on Twitter for well over a decade!
So, we’re here to help. We’re all about elevating queer voices, after all.
And many are trying to find their new online gay community. Naturally, they’re using their best assets…
Even if BlueSky’s user base may take time to catch up, ditching the bot-ridden, MAGA-pumping bird app is long overdue. Elon has turned Twitter into a far-right megaphone, tweaking the algorithm to support Trump and MAGA-adjacent characters… including himself!
Infamously, Elon stormed into Twitter’s offices following last year’s Super Bowl, distraught that Joe Biden‘s perfunctory post about the Philadelphia Eagles received more engagement than his. As a result, Twitter engineers were forced to come up with ways for Elon’s posts to gain more traction.
Now, Elon’s posts are seemingly at the top of everyone’s “For You” tab. He shares an incessant amount of right-wing conspiracies, amplifying digital garbage with quote-tweets including his own commentary like “cool” and “wow.”
Speaking of garbage, that word best describes Elon’s treatment of his daughter, Vivian Jenna Wilson, who legally changed her name and gender in 2022.
In a recent interview with the Daily Wire, Elon deadnamed her, and said she’s been “killed by the woke mind virus.”
In response, Vivian read her estranged dad to filth.
“If you’re going to lie about me, why would you choose a method so obnoxious in its stupidity,” she wrote on Threads, before going in for the final blow
“It’s beyond stupid, it’s desperate. The fact anyone believed this for even five seconds is beyond me. Not to mention going out of your way to misgender me which is both completely transparent and honestly just sad.
“I understand your new angle is this ‘western values/christian family man’ thing but it’s such a weird choice. You are not a family man, you are a serial adulterer who won’t stop f*cking lying about your own children.”
Yeah, Elon’s character seems to be about as good as his $44 billion vanity project, which absolutely stinks now, by the way.
BlueSky is calling, and after 18 months, the gays are finally picking up the phone… and creating new profiles.
