Sex is one of the oldest and most inherent facets of human existence, yet discussing it candidly often provokes embarrassment, resentment and hesitation, making any honest conversation feel like navigating a minefield.
From Plato’s dialogues to TikTok trends, from royal pleasure chambers to algorithmic feeds, our engagement with sexuality has always been richly layered, deeply political and inherently paradoxical.
Pleasure as Philosophy: What the Greeks (and Freud) Got Right
Philosophical reflections from Plato and Aristotle first framed sexuality as entwined with virtue, beauty and the human psyche (Plato, c.380 BC; Aristotle, c.350 BC). In the Symposium, Plato presents eros as a motivating force that guides the soul toward the Good and the Beautiful, suggesting that sexual longing mirrors our deepest philosophical yearnings. In the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle situated sexual virtue within his broader account of practical wisdom, emphasising the balance between excess and deficiency.
Nearly two millennia later, Freud recast sexuality not as a moral or aesthetic concern, but as a central psychic energy driving creativity, conflict, and development (Freud, 1905). Modern sexologists would agree that sexuality is far more than physical, it is a language of identity, power, trust and connection (Kinsey, 1948; Masters and Johnson, 1966). It tells us who we are and how we relate to the world, and in the luxury adult wellness space, we see people seeking not just orgasms, but understanding, a yearning for knowledge, and authenticity.
Famous, Queer, and Rewritten
History has never been exclusively heterosexual, despite the narrative taught in schools. Leonardo da Vinci was tried for sodomy in 1476 (Trumbach, 1998), Michelangelo’s love poems to other men were sanitised after his death (Saslow, 1991), and Shakespeare composed sonnets to a “fair youth”, widely believed to be male (Vendler, 1997). These were not anomalies and certainly not isolated incidents. Across cultures, from Chinese emperors maintaining male concubines (Hinsch, 1998) to Native American Two-Spirit leaders holding honoured roles (Roscoe, 1998), fluid expressions of sexuality formed an integral part of cultural life, often celebrated. The taboo emerged later, intertwined with colonial imperatives, religious doctrine and efforts at social control (Foucault, 1978).
Empress Wu Zetian’s Imperial Ritual
Empress Wu Zetian remains one of the most provocative figures in Chinese history, the only woman to rule as emperor in her own right. In The Cradle of Erotica, Edwardes and Masters (1969) argue that Wu Zetian consciously linked sex and sovereignty, using ritualised erotic performance as a demonstration of her divine authority. According to their account, visiting dignitaries and court officials were required to honour her not with words or gifts, but by kneeling and performing cunnilingus while she stood, robes parted. This scene is captured in surviving court paintings, which show the empress poised above a supplicant, her composure conveying absolute control. Whether taken literally or symbolically, the ritual’s intent was unambiguous: sexuality, when wielded with agency, becomes an act of power rather than submission.
When Did Human Sexuality Peak?
Culturally, the 1960s are regarded as a watershed in the history of human sexuality, yet in truth, there has never been a single “high-water mark.” The advent of the contraceptive pill, coupled with the momentum of feminist and civil rights movements, fuelled a sexual revolution that reclaimed pleasure from the grip of shame. Nudity, experimentation and gender fluidity entered mainstream awareness and gradually became accepted social phenomena (D’Emilio, 1983; Freedman, 2002).
Despite the unprecedented access to information and expanded rights in 2025, open conversation about sex remains surprisingly fraught. Persistent taboos, uneven sex education and lingering moral judgments continue to make candid dialogue uncomfortable even in an age of “greater sexual freedom”.
The Return of the Taboo
Digital platforms have made sexuality more visible while also imposing new restrictions. Algorithms struggle to recognise context, so that educational material on sexual health is too often classified alongside explicit pornography (Gillespie, 2018). A queer therapist posting about consent may be shadowbanned while a provocative clip on OnlyFans reaches millions of “For You” feeds.
Instagram and TikTok permit male nipples yet routinely blur those of women. Sex educators and adult wellness brands endure constant takedowns, at the same time, some creators thrive behind paywalls under the guise of “premium” content. This is puritanism at work, monetisation, male-gaze economics and control over who profits from sexual imagery (Noble, 2018).
The Problem with Censorship
Sex is not censored because it is dangerous, but because it is powerful. A person in touch with their body is harder to shame, easier to empower and less likely to be controlled. Many religious, political and commercial systems view that as a direct threat (Foucault, 1978; Paasonen, 2018).
Censorship operates unevenly. Women, queer people and educators are disproportionately silenced while cishet male content that objectifies or commodifies others often slips through. This imbalance is not a moral issue but a question of control over who may speak and who may profit.
Towards a New Sexual Renaissance
So, where does that leave us?
Ironically, despite social media’s double standards and persistent unease, we stand on the verge of a new sexual revolution grounded in science, empathy, consent, and playfulness (Beres, 2014). Adult stores that embrace these values do more than sell toys; they offer gateways to self-awareness, communication, empowerment and joy (Coelho et al., 2018). We must embrace neurodivergent forms of sexuality, adopt trauma-informed approaches to intimacy and support sexual expression at every stage of life (Attwood, 2006; Fava and Fortenberry, 2021). And if an adult store in Pretoria can set the tone, others can surely follow.
We are relearning how to speak openly, using precise terms, such as penis rather than “down there”, teaching emotional connection to our sons & daughters and recognising pleasure as a vital component of wellness rather than a luxury.
Maybe the internet can’t show a nipple without losing its mind and algorithms blocking accounts, but it’s also affording us a means to rediscover our bodies on our terms. We are living in tension, between restriction and freedom, shame and celebration, but also in a moment of possibility. The language of sex, once forced into whispers and euphemism, is slowly but continuously growing louder, clearer, and more inclusive. Across centuries and cultures, from Plato’s eros to queer sonnets, from censored creators to defiant educators, the arc of sexuality has always bent toward both pleasure and truth. And perhaps Empress Wu Zetian had a point: before someone earns our trust, they must first show respect. Not just with their words, but with their actions. Our pleasure is not something to be hidden or managed, but something sacred, something to be celebrated and when necessary, something worth defending.
References
Aristotle (c.350 BC) Nicomachean Ethics. In Barnes, J. (ed.) 2004. London: Penguin.
Attwood, T. (2006) Sexuality and Asperger Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Beres, M.A. (2014) ‘Rethinking the concept of consent for anti-sexual violence activism and education’, Feminism & Psychology, 24(3), pp. 373–389. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353514539652.
Coelho, P.S., Rita, P. and Santos, Z.R. (2018) ‘On the relationship between consumer-brand identification, brand community, and brand loyalty’, Journal of Retailing and Consumer Services, 43, pp. 101–110. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jretconser.2018.03.011.
D’Emilio, J. (1983) Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities: The Making of a Homosexual Minority in the United States, 1940–1970. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Edwardes, A. and Masters, R.E.L. (1969) The Cradle of Erotica: A Study of Sensual Iconography, Ancient and Modern. London: Thames & Hudson.
Fava, N. M. and Fortenberry, J. D. (2021) ‘Trauma-Informed Sex Positive Approaches to Sexual Pleasure’, International Journal of Sexual Health, 33(4), pp. 537–549. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2021.1961965.
Foucault, M. (1978) The History of Sexuality, Volume 1: An Introduction. New York: Pantheon.
Freedman, E.B. (2002) No Turning Back: The History of Feminism and the Future of Women. New York: Ballantine Books.
Freud, S. (1905) Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality. Standard Edition, vol. 7. London: Hogarth Press.
Gillespie, T. (2018) Custodians of the Internet: Platforms, Content Moderation, and the Hidden Decisions That Shape Social Media. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
Hinsch, B. (1998) Passions of the Cut Sleeve: The Male Homosexual Tradition in China. Berkeley: University of California Press.
Kinsey, A.C. (1948) Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders.
Masters, W.H. and Johnson, V.E. (1966) Human Sexual Response. Boston: Little, Brown.
Noble, S.U. (2018) Algorithms of Oppression: How Search Engines Reinforce Racism. New York: New York University Press.
Paasonen, S. (2018) Pornification: Sex and Sexuality in Media Culture. Cambridge: Polity Press.
Plato (c.380 BC) Symposium. In Reeve, C.D.C. (ed.) 2nd edn. Indianapolis: Hackett
Roscoe, W. (1998) Changing Ones: Third and Fourth Genders in Native North America. New York: St Martin’s Press.
Saslow, J.M. (ed.) (1991) Michelangelo: Selected Poetry and Prose. Berkeley: University of California Press.
Trumbach, R. (1998) Sexuality and Society in Early Modern Europe: The Transformation of Bodies and Desires. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Vendler, H. (1997) The Art of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
