Gays share their biggest secrets

By Alex Reimer

Oh secret secret on the wall. Which one of you is the darkest of all?

As journalists, we naturally advocate for transparency. But sometimes, it pays to be discreet. There are certain pieces of information that must stay in the vault, for the protection of both ourselves and others.

To repeat, we are not advocating for duplicity. Lying is always bad, and seldom fails to destroy relationships. But we know that Queerty readers would never do that. Judging by the responses, there are some personal facts that actually should stay confidential.

Here’s what they had to spill…

“I am a closet sports fan. I have to sneak around and hide my football viewing habits from my husband, discreetly watching in our den as he hosts tasteful game nights with friends. As for me, I’m watching my beloved 49ers and screaming inside!” — Mark in the Bay Area

Oh Mark, it’s a shame that you have to hide your sporty affliction. If it makes you feel better, more than 125 million people watched the Super Bowl this year, so you’re far from alone (though we bet your hubby and his game night pals were also tuned into Bad Bunny)! In some gay circles, there’s a stigma against sports fans. We are viewed as “butch” or “masc” or self-hating. But the truth is, we just want to be entertained. And sports provide plenty of that! (Also, lest we remind your husband that football is quite gay, but you already knew that.)

“My favorite watch wasn’t a gift from my father. I bought it an airport kiosk when I was waiting for a flight out of LaGuardia. But it makes for a better story if I saw it was my dad’s. Good conversation starter.” — Joshua in Hoboken, New Jersey

Generally speaking, family lore is a better conversation topic than airport talk. If Joshua sprinkles in his fictitious tale with some real stories about his dad, the setup totally works. We look forward to his autobiography. “These stories have been based on true events…”

“Cooking is something that I enjoy, and am quite good at. But don’t tell my boyfriend. Then he’ll ask me to make dinner!” — Jovan in Brighton, Massachusetts

Table for one, please! Bon appétit, Jovan. If not food, we have a feeling you’re serving your bf something else, anyway. 😉

“I’ve never kissed boy and NOT liked it!” — Davey in Santa Monica

Honestly Davey… same!

“When I leave the house, I don’t often wear underwear, unless I’m going to a wedding or a formal event like a wedding or fancy dinner. This isn’t some sort of proclivity, either. I just don’t see the point.” — Barry in Wisconsin

If Barry were just talking about joggers or athletic wear, we would understand. Grey sweatpants are sl*tty for a reason! But his enthusiasm for below-the-belt freedom eludes us when one moves on to jeans or regular pants–though we appreciate Barry said he wears underwear in “formal settings.” Hopefully this is a situation where discretion is heeded.

“No daily showers, just a few times a week. Throw on some deodorant and wash where it matters. People existed for centuries before they started rubbing their skin off.” — Ricky in Chattanooga, Tennessee 

Rick is right: Americans can be excessive about hygiene. But hopefully he’s still taking care of himself. Those Tennessee summers are hot!

“I haven’t read a book in years. I like smart guys and live in a college town, so I lie and always say I’m in between books. My New Year’s Resolution was to pick up the habit again.” — Gerald in Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Gerald professes what many are afraid to admit: the algorithm has squashed our attention span. But the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one. In that spirit, let’s all crack open a book together.

“My secret: I have been a 27 year member of MENSA. My current IQ score is 178. In Tucson, gay men prefer you to be ‘young and dumb’. Well, no longer young and NEVER dumb, I have decided finally stop keeping my deep dark secret and just become a Silver Fox who’s pretty damn savvy!” — Yuri in Tucson, Arizona

Or… maybe we could just meet Yuri. A “MENSA” member must have some good recs.

“I had a hookup one time, and when I bought a house and moved there, it turns out that the guy I hooked up with was the son of the next door neighbor.” — Ronny in Houston, Texas

That story gives the phrase “howdy neighbor” a whole different meaning…

“I hooked up with my co-worker for two years and never got caught…” — Ryan in New York, New York

“I slept with my best friend on and off for years. Now he’s married with kids. His wife can NEVER find out.” — Neil in Washington State

“Been sleeping with my roommate’s boyfriend for the last three years.” — Richard in Brooklyn, New York

We’ve made it to the secret trysts portion of the program. Oh, this was inevitable! For millennia, people have been carrying out surreptitious affairs. And we’ll just leave it at that. These sound like some potentially explosive situations–we want to get out of dodge! (And Richard, we hope your landlord is amenable. It sounds like someone may have to meet out soon… 😬)

“Shh don’t tell anyone… but I’m gay!” — Scott in the Western Hemisphere

Your secret is safe with us, Scott!

Source: https://www.queerty.com/sleeping-with-their-best-friend-skimping-on-underwear-being-a-savvy-silver-fox-gays-share-their-biggest-secrets-20260301/