When it comes to gay discourse, there are few subjects more fraught than open relationships.
By Alex Reimer
Despite their ubiquity, debate rages over boundaries and ground rules (notably, few of these disputes involve the actual participants).
On X, a user named “Kev” recently posted about the hookup of his dreams. With a Nor’easter raging outside, he hit up Grindr looking for a company. Then a man came over… and stayed in bed with him for nine hours.
“He’s really cool,” Kev said, before steering the story in an unexpected direction.
“He has a husband,” he added.
Then again, given the prevalence of open relationships, maybe we shouldn’t be surprised…
“Damn did I connect with him”
Kev was quick to clarify that the husband of his dreams is in an open marriage. But still, he found himself wistful.
“It’s rare for me to connect with people, because of the way I am,” he said. “And damn did I connect with him. I have no desire to impact their relationship. But damn.”
With it being Twitter, purity princes and princesses descended upon Kev’s thread and demanded to know how anybody could enjoy a deep, if fleeting connection with a married man.
Many gays, however, knew exactly where Kev was coming from.
Nuanced views of life and love
Kev’s vulnerability prompted other gays to share their everlasting experiences with married men. One person said he had sex with a married man the previous day, and then they talked over dinner about love, parenting and relationships.
Another person remarked that it must be “so cool” to be gay and enjoy short-lived romances with random men and then share all the details with your loving hubby.
Jokingly, some people mentioned that gay marriages are Aristocratic and resemble arrangements between European nobles.
Hey, we’ll take it!
Free from the shackles of heteronormativity, gay people are free to plot their own romantic paths. The numbers show that’s exactly what we’re doing.
More than 30% of gay couples are open, according to a 2018 study. That’s compared to 22% of bi respondents, 5% of lesbians and just 2% of straights.
And over the last decade(ish), the number of open couples has likely only grown. Thank you, Sniffies!
Speaking of Sniffies, with temptation everywhere, the key to a healthy open relationship is communication and trust. Contrary to ignorant belief, they are not built on promiscuity.
But yes, hot sex with different guys is definitely an intended outcome.
The “D” appointment question
Earlier this year, we covered discourse about “D” appointments and whether they’re considerate or sneaky. Some theorized that self-proclaimed “open guys” don’t schedule sex for convenience, but rather, to hide the dirty deed from their unsuspecting partners.
Of course, hooking up with cheating guys is icky, and there are a lot of people who say they’re “open” but really aren’t. It’s an easy workaround… until it isn’t!
It is worth remembering: though a lot of gay couples are open, the limited data shows the majority are monogamous. So no, the experience that Kev enjoyed is not universal.
But man, it certainly sounds amazing. Their chemistry must’ve been magnetic.
Nine hours is a long time!
Source: https://www.queerty.com/man-spends-9-hours-in-bed-with-the-hookup-of-his-dreams-then-finds-out-a-startling-detail-20260930/
